WHAT EVEN. WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT IS HAPPENING. I can’t even process what happened on tonight’s Vampire Diaries. I might have to re-watch it about 8 more times.
Last week on that show where Elena ignores how attractive Damon is, Rebekah found out her brother killed her mother (totally not Freudian), Damon let Stefan feed on humans, Stefan saved Damon’s life, Katherine woke up Mikael and he showed up at the bar where he nearly killed Damon, and they struck a deal that involved a plan to kill Klaus. There was also some QUALITY pillow talk between Damon and Elena.
So here we are. Mid-season finale. How did we get so far in what feels like such a short amount of time? We open with Stefan on the phone with Klaus, informing the werepire (werewolf/vampire= what they will be called from now on) that Mikael is dead. Klaus, showing the normal reaction to anyone finding out that their father is dead, is excited.
Damon, Stefan, and Elena are all standing around talking about the best hypothetical way they could have killed Mikael, so they can tell Klaus a convincing story. What they came up with was utterly boring and involved Elena and Stefan finishing each others’ sentences. ahfreakingdorable. I’m team Damon. duh. They decide to tell Klaus they burvaned him, discovered he had a dagger, stole it, and drove it through Mikael’s heart. They want to lure Klaus to the Salvatore mansion and kill him. Mikael agrees to die temporarily, and now all that’s left is to somehow evade Stefan’s compulsion under Klaus. No way this can could go wrong, right?
So Elena daggers Mikael for the time being, and when he wakes up or whatever, he tries to have a heart to heart with Rebekah. She has all of none of it, and walks out on him.
Damon and Elena have a heartwarming burvane-grenade making session together, where Damon beautifully protects Elena. GIRL. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.
It’s homecoming in Mystic Falls, which makes sense because every week there seems to be a new holiday that we should all be celebrating. I’m honestly surprised that it wasn’t more specifically “Founder’s Day Homecoming” hosted by the Council of Helpless Elders. Caroline is planning away, Bonnie is obviously not going (too mainstream), and Elena “hates everything in [her closet]” and has “nothing to wear.” Sure you don’t, size zero.
Caroline is all in a tizzy because Tyler set up Matt with Rebekah (or, as Caroline awesomely calls her, “the evil bloodslut”) for Homecoming. She’s also pissed because of the “siring” thing.
Rebekah looks awesome in her dress, having a heart to heart with Elena about how she never went to a high school dance because of her horrible family issues. I thought they were having this wonderful bonding session (it was actually quite sweet), until ELENA STABS REBEKAH IN THE BACK WITH A DAGGER. I mean, that shit was cold.
Matt shows up to pick up his date, who Elena has just temporarily MURDERED, so she and Matt end up going together.
The gym is randomly flooded, because that’s obviously where they also keep the pool, and so Homecoming is held at the Lockwood estate, hosted magnificently by DUN DUN DUN…..KLAUS! It’s not a Homecoming party after all, it’s a WAKE! Get it? For Mikael? Brilliant. He even got My Morning Jacket to play!
Oh, also, Bonnie is there. So…her hipster cred is tarnished.
Klaus is BEYOND suspicious of everything always, and asks Stefan to bring Klaus to HIM…in exchange for Stefan’s freedom from Klaus’s compulsion. Stefan runs off to inform the gang! Meanwhile, Damon is mixing up bloody drinks and has a dangerous run-in with Mikael, where Mikael drinks some of Stefan’s blood and leaves him lying on the floor.
Tyler and Klaus have a pal moment until Klaus points out that Tyler doesn’t know most of the people at his own party. Why, you ask? They’re all WEREPIRES. One of them, Mindy, confuses the hell out of me. She spends all of her on-screen moments posing like she’s some sort of ethnically confusing runway model. I think she’s black, which confuses me more, because this show has taught me that black people are exclusively witches and nothing else supernatural. CONSISTENCY, Vampire Diaries, please.
Caroline and Tyler have a spat where Tyler’s like, “Klaus is two steps ahead of everyone always,” and that ends with them hugging and kissing and making up. JUST KIDDING, TYLER STABS HER IN THE THROAT WITH BURVANE. YEAH. Some boyfriend.
Then Klaus is outside with Elena and he’s like, “I’m always one step ahead of everyone always.” So which is it!? One step or two!?
Matt and Tyler argue for a hot second about the ethics of drugging Caroline, and Tyler’s like, “It’s okay, man, I’m protecting her…and then we might fool around a bit if you know what I mean *fist bump*”
Damon almost kills Tyler FOR LIKE A MINUTE, OKAY? It was totally warranted because Tyler tried to bite him, but Buzzkill Bonnie uses her freaky migraine thing on both of them and ruins all the fun. Shocker.
Creepy, confusing, black werepire Mindy is creeping around when Mikael shows up on the doorstep. He can’t come in the house, and so he keeps trying to get Klaus to come outside to fight him. Klaus is like, “I have all these werepires under my command.” and Mikael’s like, “LOL no u don’t, I can compel them, duh” and shows creepy Mindy under his control. Then, Mikael threatens to kill Elena. Klaus is all like, “calling your bluff daddy” and starts crying because he didn’t get his way.
And guess what? MIKAEL DOES IT. Stabs her in the back and drops her there. Just when Damon is about to kill Klaus, we find out that it was KATHERINE posing to be Elena this whole time. She throws the burvane grenades at the werepires to hurt them, and Damon is poised over Klaus with the dagger when….
Stefan stops him! Klaus takes the dagger and kills Mikael. For real this time. Then Klaus frees Stefan of his compulsion.
Caroline wakes up from her drug-induced coma, and breaks up with Tyler after a really sad, heartwrenching convo about how Tyler is sired to Klaus and Caroline can’t deal with it anymore.
The aftermath of the whole night is happening. Damon and Elena are beyond pissed at Stefan, who as it turns out, saved Klaus to save Damon. Yeah. I know. Here’s what happened:
Katherine found out that if Klaus was killed, Damon wouldn’t live either, so she told Stefan and they decided to nix their original plan. She and Stefan are on a road trip, but Katherine drops him off somewhere so she can get the hell out of dodge.
A shot of Rebekah lying on the floor dead for the moment is seen. I think everyone legitimately forgot about her…awkward. Klaus calls her and she doesn’t answer…also awkward.
Finally, the best thing ever. Now that Mikael is dead for good, Klaus wants a weird necro-family reunion. BUT Stefan calls him “to thank him for his freedom” PSYCH- He tells Klaus that he stole all the bodies of the Originals. And good luck getting them back. How does it feel to be one to two steps behind, Klaus, hmm?
ALSO, I TOTALLY FORGOT TO MENTION, Damon and Elena have this beautiful conversation where Damon tells her to let Stefan go and she agrees! And the definitely almost kiss when 21st century technology gets in the way and Damon’s cell phone rings. Seriously? You’re killing me here.
Oh why does this show have to end for now?! January 5th is entirely too far away for me to handle. In the meantime, re-watch and stay in love, my friends, because this season is going to come back with a fury.