Review: Gossip Girl “The Fasting and the Furious”

Season 5 Episode 5:

So this episode begins with everyone under a lot of pressure.

Serena’s boss is demanding that she get the film rights to Dan’s book. It just so happens that Serena, who is furious about her portrayal in the book, is not speaking to Dan. But her career is on the line so she calls him for breakfast, pretending she is no longer upset and casually brings up the film rights. Dan says he’ll find out and let her know.

Meanwhile Blair and Louis plan an event to tell their families that Blair is pregnant. Everyone is thrilled, although having a royal child does come with a few extra rules that Blair did not anticipate. Princess Sophia explains how the baby must be born in their hospital in Monaco and go to their school in Switzerland. Blair and Eleanor do not approve.

Dan is still struggling with the fact that no one except Chuck will talk to him and Chuck meets a psychiatrist that becomes his next ‘target’.

Diane and her new Gossip Girl esque website are planning to go live until Gossip Girl throws a wrench in that plan by telling everyone how they stole everyone’s phones at the fashion show to get their deepest secrets.

The Waldorf’s are throwing a Yom Kippor festival at their place and everyone is attending, even Diane who is hoping to get her next big story so she can launch the site in style.

Blair seeks advice from Serena who tells her she doesn’t have enough time for her while she is working. Blair realizes that everyone is moving on with their lives: Dan wrote his book which is about to be a movie, Chuck has his hotel and is moving on to other women, Nate and Serena both have new jobs that could potentially turn into careers. So Blair decides if everyone is growing up, so will she. She tells Louis and his family she will agree to all of their terms and move to Monaco.

Diane teams up with Prince Louis’ sister to try and bring down Blair/ get a story. While, Charlie convinces Rufus and Lily to go to the Waldorf’s so she and Nate can break into their vault to get some dirt for the new website.

Serena announces that Dan gave the movie rights to the book to her so that all the other offers pull out. Dan goes to confront Serena’s boss who swears she had nothing to do with it. Serena comes and admits it was her. She says that she was so hurt because she thinks Dan is the love of her life and was so hurt when he didn’t think of her that way.

Princess Sophie and Beatrice don’t think Blair is going to raise their heir correctly so they set up a contract about the child. It basically says that if Blair and Louis don’t raise the baby to their standards they can take the child away. Outraged, the couple refuses and confronts the princess who says if they don’t sign she won’t recognize the child as their heir.

Chuck tries once again to seduce the psychiatrist, who quickly gives him a diagnosis that is spot on (and breaks my heart) about his issues.

Blair and Eleanor have a beautiful heart to heart about how Blair will make a wonderful mother, and as a Chuck/Blair shipper, it breaks my heart that they are making all these plans for the future that don’t include Chuck. (Although I swear this relationship with Louis will be over soon and that Blair will finally admit the baby is Chuck’s. But that’s just me…)

Serena apologizes to Blair for being a crap friend and Dan gives her the movie rights to his novel.

We find out that Diane had a secret relationship with Bart Bass and that’s why she wanted Charlie to break into the van der Woodsen’s vault.

Chuck decides he is finally ready to be serious and get some real psychological help. Right as we realize that Prince Louis has his secrets too. He appears to have read/taken the paternity results of Blair’s baby and makes a very cryptic phone call to Chuck’s new psychiatrist.

So I really hope that Louis doesn’t turn out to be bad. That he hasn’t been scheming and that he doesn’t start now. Although Blair is with him, she will always, always care about Chuck. And she would have nothing to do with anyone who would intentionally hurt him. And as much as I want Blair and Louis to break up, I don’t want her to be hurt. But I guess we’ll find out!


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